Why Jeff Kennet needs a fucking good smack in the face... (sub-title: Someone just king hit that prick!)

King Prick of Cockface Mountain

For those who came in late... Jeff Kennett was a school bully with shitty marks who was picked for Officer Training (go figure...), got some delusions of grandeur about his leadership skills and went into politics. He became leader of the Victorian Liberal Party, and was eventually elected Premier. While in power his government cashed in by smashing apart the state's remaining public assets, creating unemployment (cos the Fed's deal with the dole bludgers anyways), decimating the power of the Auditor General and many of the Ombudsman's and promoting gambling

He Just Gets Taken Out of Context...

 Or does he...? Perhaps he's a genius?

See, I get it.
xxx

One Crappy Thing About My Town...

Right. So I love Love LOVE my city. So infinitely awesome is she, a definitive list would be a tautology for a start, and kinda dumb. But off the top of my head here are a few fings what I do love: the changeable weather; the relatively high percentage of curious and resourceful people; the CBD itself - architecture, design, vicinity, smell (stinky, gross river included), the casually busy mood; the landscape that can run between sea and mountain, rainforest, wetland and desert; plus, we have some of the world's rarest wildlife in our metropolitan region!

(and this clip is of one of the most incredible birds ever... and it lives in melbs... just a bonus to enjoy cos it's awesome... nothing to do with my rant...)

Yee-hah... Follower Trois!

So welcome, Number Three. Yay for you! 


=] 


So I this clip is now yours. You totally own it. 


Good... good... mediocre.

Enjoy...
x

Why Some Tatts Should Be Illegal...

And I am NOT fucking joking... There are Fail Tatts that are funny... mispellings (tehe...) and fuck-ups that the dumb turd who got the tatt should have thought about. And in those cases you can point and laugh your arse off. As you should...

I am talking about the innocent victims of skin art... The children whose horrendous portraits grate their parents arms, chests and backs.

Put yourself in the shoes of these children... Don't stay too long. It is a fucking scary place to be...

I don't think it is in anyway responsible for a parent or tattooist to agree to these feats of scarring. Yes a tattoo is for life, but daddy can get that hideous shit lasered off of his arm... the child has it tattooed into it's psyche for life.

Cop this:

Hmmm...

Arroh...

So I am feeling compelled to post something, but am at a bit of a loss as to what to write about. I have about five different things half-written, and am feeling particularly uninspired by all of them. Anything funny I want to write is just turning out silly, and anything serious is kinda tinged with pissiness. And my voice is beginning to bore me a bit; wondering if it is the same when you read me...

I am thinking that a nice segway from 'Love' is 'Mental Illness'... lol. But that's not something I can be particularly fucked explaining much of right now.

So, I will bond the two briefly (Love and Mental Illness, that is) with a quick story.

Who'd Wanna Be Such An Arsehole...?

‎
'It's possible to love a human being if you don't know them too well.'


Charles Bukowski

Yup... Just sayin...

Meh to Love... Part Der

Yes, Ho-lah...

It continues... And thank-you to the Nonny Mouse for giving me something to structure my thoughts around. I can see where I need to clarify some things. 

Firstly, let me stress again, I am not in BooHooLand. My primary motivation is pissed-off-ed-ness cos I am feeling like I am being tricked by Society (for lack of a better term), and although this is of no particular surprise to me, my Bullshit Tolerator is broken...

Huzzah for Follower 2.0

Hey, look at me go. Another stalker! *fist pumps*


So welcome to the fold, Follower 2.0. As promised, here is your welcome gift. 

Enjoy y'all...


xxx

Meh to Love...

If Love is so fucking great, then why do I see it constantly making people miserable...? 

Seriously, it's starting to do my head in. Like, I get it: it feels good to be loved; it feels worthwhile; it feels almost magickal when someone you find so special sees something akin in you. That's kinda what it is, isn't it?

Puppy Power...

Ok, so this wasn't my win... But I will take credit for imparting the wisdom of the K9 to the lucky dude who pulled that Royal Flush and won that tasty pot. (Believe me now, don't ya Stalky-Pants 1?) Seriously, tell me it doesn't rule.


Yeah no don't, smartarses.

Hello Randoms!!!

Hey you American People... I see two of you are viewing this page right this second... Hola! This post's for you!!!
xxx

My OFFLINE Poker Trolling T-Shirt...

Yes, in celebration of Trash-Talk-Sally, and to prove to people just how little I really give a fuck what they think of my poker prowess... (without actually telling them 'I don't give a fuck what you think of my poker prowess') I have chucked a new transfer on an old t-shirt, proclaiming the Power of the Hammer to all and sundry; or those who see me wearing it... (Hello to all 28 people living in my home town...) And after winning a nice little pot with my ugly ole 7-2 last night, I'm contemplating calling it 'Thor'... POWER! Hmmm... maybe a suited Hammer can be The Thor...?

So without further ado... In-ter-oh-deucing... -------->>> My t-shirt for pissing people off at poker...!!! Whoo-Hoo !!! (or at least working out who the people with a sense of humour are... same/same...?)

PS... Who can see the ultimate irony...? Huh...?
xxx

The (Semi) Definitive List of All the Awesome Things About '7-2'

People, places, things, facts...      

1) Me (born in...)

2) The 1972 Ford TC Cortina (stationwagon please)

3) My 1972 'Dragon Wheels' VW Matchbox car 

Hammer Time...

Bite me, Sal. (and see ya tonight!)

Chemists Who Promote Generic Meds Slightly Annoy Me...

A few weeks ago I won second prize in a Monopoly beauty contest. Instead of tossing my silken locks with pride, and gracefully accepting the ten bucks, I decided to opt for a sledgehammer. Seemed an odd choice at the time, but it was just there... 

Now, if one more chemist tries to tell me I don't need the actual medication written on my prescription, and that the generic brand they have in stock is exactly the same, but cheaper ( yes! cheaper!)...

I will take said sledgehammer from my wallet (where it fits as sweetly as my ten bucks woulda... It's magickal, you know?) and I will commit unspeakable acts on and to the Clinique counter. 

Don't care what you say; don't give a flying hoot what your 'research' or 'science' predicts... Generic medications are NOT the same as their brand name counterparts... I'll write a story one day. Til then, you ignorant fuck chemist arseholes... suck my balls.

w00t for 'followers'...

So hoorah! I have my first follower...!!! Three cheers for Stalker-Pants Number One!

I was gonna give him a gold star, then thought, that's just stupid, so sent him a link to some wicked porn with Nigella Lawson and a strap-on eggbeater... mmm, hello.

Not quite, but check this...

Thank you Stalker One...!!!

Ozzy: Revolutionist or Retard...???

I'm sorry. But don't say I didn't warn you... Survivor does just rule. And HUSH all you people who wanna tell me it's 'fake'. (Lalalalalallalalalalaalaaaaaa...) 

And for those who came in late, this link is fantastic to put my little rant in context. Many, many thanks to the uploader. It is just what I needed. :)

Enjoy... xxx

Yes... that just happened. (*giggle*) And seeing as though me and Oz are like this (yeah, that...) I felt compelled to drop him a line and vent my frustrations. I'll let you know when he gets back to me...

*long, heavy, heartfelt sigh*

Oh Ozzy... Oh dear lord, I love you! But you know you are a fucking moron, right? Sweety, really, what the hell were you thinking? Ok, we get it; you're a nice guy, a team player. You want to win with skill and honour and integrity. Yep, we hear you. 

But here's the thing... Ultimately you want to WIN. W I N... I think. Don't you?

Please note...

You guys !!! Please leave any comments you have. I'd kinda like this to be somewhat interactive, at least some feedback would be appreciated. And I don't mean piss in my pocket... I already know I rule. I mean tell me what you think. I'm curious to see any and all thoughtful points of view; good, bad or fugly. 


Cheers lovelies!


x

K9 Love (non-sexual, peeps...)

Oi...!!!
NB: This is kinda about poker and stuff, and somehow trying to share some sort of extremely insightful life lesson via cards... Could be a cliche; could just be general tripe. I entertained myself though. Hopefully that will be shared. x

I have defended some pretty shitty hands in Texas Hold 'Em... if I have the chips, I'll always see a flop when holding 7 / 2... (but not necessarily 2 / 7 - unless it's suited and I'm stacked); low pockets are doable; I like 2 / 3. The beauty and bastardry of Texas Hold 'Em is that any two dealt cards can make a winning hand. ANY... 

A few weeks a go I was playing a local tourney; very low-key, bugger-all stakes; fairly sociable and nice. Who knows what the fuck was said, but I found myself wryly sharing how I can justify playing 7 / 2 (which I can't really,

Armpit Glamour..? Really...?!

What started as a medical procedure to help sufferers of chronic excess sweating when anti-perspirants and medications had failed, is being touted as the latest must-do cosmetic procedure, leading the geniuses at 'Today' to question whether the armpit is the new erogenous zone... (none of us have lives, you know...?)

The answer is...

KLF is gonna rock you... (are you ready?) Ancients of Mu-Mu...

duh me.

Insomnia and the Ancients of Mu-Mu...

NB. Incoherence blamed on seven hours sleep over a thirty-six hour period, and also note I happened to fall asleep after writing this tripe.

It's 3am... 3am... It's 3am eterrrr-er-er-errrr-ernal... (bow-bow-bow-bowwwww) Are you ready? Ancients of Mu-Mu... Ohhhhh... Here we go...

Thank you, whoever-you-are-who-wrote-that-song-whose-name-I-can't-remember-right-now-cos-my-brain-is-melting-with-Tired...

Why we love (?) Karl and Lisa...

Now, you tell me...

... wankers? Or wankers?