K9 Love (non-sexual, peeps...)

Oi...!!!
NB: This is kinda about poker and stuff, and somehow trying to share some sort of extremely insightful life lesson via cards... Could be a cliche; could just be general tripe. I entertained myself though. Hopefully that will be shared. x

I have defended some pretty shitty hands in Texas Hold 'Em... if I have the chips, I'll always see a flop when holding 7 / 2... (but not necessarily 2 / 7 - unless it's suited and I'm stacked); low pockets are doable; I like 2 / 3. The beauty and bastardry of Texas Hold 'Em is that any two dealt cards can make a winning hand. ANY... 

A few weeks a go I was playing a local tourney; very low-key, bugger-all stakes; fairly sociable and nice. Who knows what the fuck was said, but I found myself wryly sharing how I can justify playing 7 / 2 (which I can't really,
except to say 1972 is the year I am born, and I started playing them as a joke cos they are almost the 'worst' cards you can have, BUT I do win with them... *shrug*). A dried-up, bitter, old slapper called Sally was disgusted; she basically sat there and shot me down, talking about how fucking stupid I was, and how people like me spoil poker for the 'proper' players... And maybe she's right. I do ok, though. And, mind you, Sal went out calling a J / 7 (not suited people) bleh... Anyhoo, not long after Sal collected her shit and left the table, what should hit the fucking flop but 2 / 7 / 2... and damn... where the hell was she??? And even more damn, where the hell was my 7 / 2 when I needed it...??? I made a quiet comment about how shit it would be to be holding a 7 / 2 right now, shared a few smirks and went on with the game...

A long-ish introduction I know, but this is a topic upon which I have thought quite a bit over the last few days. Not purposely. Just little thoughts coming into my head and formulating themselves into something... This:

K9...King-Nine... Yes, The Canine... My Puppy. First let me say this, if you're reading this far, there's probably a good chance you have some interest in poker. I don't kid myself that I am anywhere near engaging enough to hold your attention if you have no fuckin idea of which I speaketh...(!) And IF you do know your poker, there is a good chance you know someone who has a love of The Canine... 

As far as the cards themselves go, they're not bad; King high pair wins hands, especially when people are chasing... The best chance of the straight is there; just need the three in the hole, and K high is gonna pretty much get it. Same for the flush draw if you're lucky enough to get suited cards. They are totally decent and playable cards. But here's the thing... For those of us who know the Power of the Puppy, faith and loyalty are of the utmost. K9 must be treated like a valued pet.

When I see K / 9, I get excited... I give it a physic rub behind the ears and let it know I'm glad to see it. That's the main thing, being appreciative and welcoming to the canine... Dogs love being loved. And once the love is established things can go generally one of two ways... Firstly, if the other players seem somewhat timid, I can use my doggy to bark and growl at them... basically bluffing them with snarled raises, and hoping if they snap back, I'll end up biting them harder. On the other hand, if the punters are frisky and wanting to play, I will happily let my K / 9 off the leash. If someone throws a massive stick, by way of a big raise I'll let the doggy chase... I put faith in it to catch that stick and bring it back to me, tail wagging, so I can throw it back at the original piffer, hopefully going way over their head and making them chase so hard they can't come back... (*evil giggle*) 

I give K / 9 my total loyalty: I believe in it to stand up and protect my stack. And the fact that I am writing this, telling you all about it, suggests it must work for me... I do lose with it, on occasion, and, rarely, I will even fold it, but more often than not it works for me. And it's pretty much because I want it to. The best thing about a dog is that all it wants to do is please it's mistress; it WANTS to obey. And, rest assured, whether we pwn the table or not, The King and The Nine will get an appreciative cuddle and a ScoobySnack and a promise to play again later. It's a bond. (*NB That said, I used to have a special relationship with The Suit of Spades, but we split up after I cursed the God of Spades several years ago... I still have tummy tinglings to chase a flush of spades, from time to time...*long, reminiscent sigh*...)

But look, just cos I've worded y'all up, I don't want you jumping on my bandwagon: one; it's not something that works for everyone. I watch people play them out of either ignorance or curiosity and LOSE! And two; what's YOU'RE thing...? What cards like you? What do you like...? Oooo... I have a thing with pocket ladies too, but who doesn't...? And might I say pocket Aces are the devil's cards...? Bleh! 

There's silly patterns that rule our lives. Some people see their patterns so clearly they think theirs is the only one and must be for everyone... Some people refuse to acknowledge the patterns are there at all. All I know is I see mine, and respond in the way that keeps me as stacked as possible at any given time. I know Canine works for me in the same way I know 7 / 2 will treat me as well as it can... and the Sally's of the world can call it stupid, or crazy, and try to finger point, but they can all fuck off and play their own game.  

Look at your cards, and call whenever you can. (Beware a premature 'all-in', people... There's a time and a place...) But you never know what might pay. 

You make you're own luck. 

xxx