Ozzy: Revolutionist or Retard...???

I'm sorry. But don't say I didn't warn you... Survivor does just rule. And HUSH all you people who wanna tell me it's 'fake'. (Lalalalalallalalalalaalaaaaaa...) 

And for those who came in late, this link is fantastic to put my little rant in context. Many, many thanks to the uploader. It is just what I needed. :)

Enjoy... xxx

Yes... that just happened. (*giggle*) And seeing as though me and Oz are like this (yeah, that...) I felt compelled to drop him a line and vent my frustrations. I'll let you know when he gets back to me...

*long, heavy, heartfelt sigh*

Oh Ozzy... Oh dear lord, I love you! But you know you are a fucking moron, right? Sweety, really, what the hell were you thinking? Ok, we get it; you're a nice guy, a team player. You want to win with skill and honour and integrity. Yep, we hear you. 

But here's the thing... Ultimately you want to WIN. W I N... I think. Don't you?

I mean, hell, this is the third time you've played the game. You keep getting your flame snuffed and are both sexy and endearing enough for us to want to see you back... Cos WE would like to see you win. You're The Good Guy, right...?

And darling, please note, you are NOT my type. I am not generally attracted to 'The Good Guy'. I am much keener on the Boston Rob's of this world; first, rawwwwr @ the accent and second, meh... Rob is a gutsy prick who gets what he wants, and yes, he stands on a couple of people along the way, but they generally need trampling anyways. He understands that only ONE person is gonna win and he plays as if he would very much like it to be him. So please don't get me wrong; I don't have some pathological attraction to arseholes. I hope Russel Hantz cries every time he has sex for the rest of his life, the shitty, little bastard. But Ozzy, my sweet, precious player... OZZY!!! If I could shake you by your extremely well-toned and tanned shoulders and give you a slap across that cute, yet handsome face, I would. And you'd bloody well love it. (Oh, and make sure you still have the plaits in... rawr!)

Now Ozzy, let me get this straight... Let me just make sure I have this right. You have the majority of your tribe members on side. You have a loser douchebag (who has needed to go since week one) completely and obviously screw-up the challenge and present himself as an absolute sitting duck. (Yes, YOU Coch-head, you pasty, little turd!) You have the Hidden Immunity Idol. Like, you HAVE the thing... Ok, you're thinking strategy. Hunni, they edit this show so well, I saw early in the episode how the cards were gonna fall. I could see what you had up your sleeve. But more; after three seasons together, Oz, I guess I kinda know you now. You are like the old school Champion who went into battle on behalf of his King or Queen. You're the Sacrificial Lion; the numbers are down and someone has to run the gauntlet for your team... Is it gonna be the useless fuck who has repetitively let you all down...? Or is it gonna be You...? Yeah. Duh... (*head shake avec sigh*) 

But come on... To give the Immunity Idol to the very person who should be going to Redemption in your place? To take the chance that the game remains the same and The Merge is coming...? To not have a sniff in the air that the scrawny, mouthy, seemingly 'loser' chick who has just won the last four Redemption Challenges might just have survived all that just to be the weak, old lady to ultimate make you her bitch...? To not see that if this doesn't work out like you have planned, you will be screwed over by two of the 'weakest' players in the game, and your own sense of arrogant martyrdom, ultimately making you the biggest loser the game has ever seen...? To not see that if that happens, this love affair is over. OVER, I say! Hoh-lee... Big stakes, baby. Not to mention the million bucks...

Tribal Council was great, though. You really did make it wonderful, so thank-you for that. I still have a rather pathetic smirk on my face, these several hours later, as I recall Jeff's utter look of 'what the fuck?' when you dropped that bomb. So hats off for that; Jeff's wtf face is total gold! Excellent work too on your 'nah-I've-changed-my-mind' gag... I am pretty sure I heard Coch-head fill his pants... *snigger*. And last, but not least, I LOVED your vote... I must say that up until those final moments as the credits rolled over the montage of the votes, I was considering getting off board; you are so ridiculously frustrating it is unbearable to the point of jaw-dropped grunts and gesticulations. I HATE it ! Then I saw your vote, and the look on your face as you cast it: 'Coach'. Ozzy, if this pans out we are going to Vegas to elope. (Restraining Order, or not...) You are way too funny; it's awesome.

Anyways, my dear... Nuff said. I best be off to print this out, roll it up, and stick it in a bottle. Or maybe I'll  just post it on my blog... I'll check the tides. But all the best with your cunning plan. All the very best... Lots of love and faith to you !!! xxx

PS: If you DO happen to get home early, can you text me Boston Rob's number, please? The emails I send him keep bouncing back at me! Cheers Oz! xxx